Chocolate Cake Church

Of course God does not refer to the Chocolatey Mistress in this context. She is one heck of a sweet and smart godess. It’s more about all the other so called gods out there.

Have you ever run into a Christian preacher who tries to put their faith down your throat in the most blunt and stupid manner? As if you had never heard it before, and them telling you in as many words as possible will make all the difference. Because they opened their mouth and forgot to close it in time you will renounce your intelligence, your common sense, your Chocolate Cake. Because they spoke you will become a mindless follower? Yea right!

If you are in danger of believing such people, keep this in mind: allegedly their god made men in his image. Do you really want to believe in a superior being controlling your life that is on the same intellectual level as those preachers? A divine dork? A double-D? Yes, I thought not.

Have a piece of Chocolatey Chocolate Cake instead! … For your interest: the Chocolatey Mistress does not frown upon proper application of Chocolate Cake in annoying preachers’ faces. Isn’t our way of conversion just so much more fun?!

(7 votes, average: 3.86 out of 5)

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Yes! Yes! And Yes!

Vanilla cake is an abomination. It’s against nature. It’s an incarnation of the devil. It’s distastefully sweet and should not be considered cake at all. Vanilla, good as it may be, is not meant to be made a cake. Thus has the Chocolatey Mistress decided, and we agree and abide.

We know it looks tasty and delicious, but it only tries to deceive you and get control over you. The first bite will make you wake up from that bad dream and you realise your huge mistake. However the Chocolatey Mistress is forgiving, and she does not hold these sins against you. Her strong recommendation to not have vanilla cake is for your own protection only and no bad consequences but those from the cake alone will come your way.

(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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