We are not attempting to mingle science and religion here. Well, at least not much. It’s more a bit of tidbit information on two statements that are famous for Einstein, but which he got slightly wrong because he couldn’t know better. So let us tell you what Einstein - and you - did not know.
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“And yet the sweetness dragged me in and beguiled me.” And again “And yet the sweetness dragged me in and beguiled me.” Those are the words I want you to consider. They are the subject for today.
And that, as Chapter three of Heston Blumenthal’s Great Cakes of the World’ has said, could so easily be that, were it not for the chocolate in the icing.
Like you, I have cried “Enough! Enough for I am sated! Speak of these things no more, for all will be lost should you continue!” And, like you, I was lost, and am now found, and now worship at the feet of The Chocolatey Mistress.
(2 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5) Loading ...Hot, as one might say, on the heels of the news of the cake burning in Germany, we look at Austria, its smaller and once annexed neighbour for what many see as the ultimate devotion. “How,” they ask, “can any other cake, any other Torte, offer so much to The Chocolatey Mistress? How?” And they bow their heads in silent contemplation of the rich chocolatiness, the apricot tartness, and they wonder.
I have been privileged to partake of Cake at the Hotel Sacher itself. Were The Chocolate Church to have buildings in which to worship, this would be a shrine! And eating the glorious Torte in the premises where it was conceived… Deep joy.
(3 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...It has come to our attention that Chocolate pornography on the internet is increasing every day, and people start asking questions about that. We think reason enough to discuss some important moral questions. Is Chocolate porn perverted? Is it endorsed or forbidden by the Chocolatey Mistress? Let’s settle this important question once and for all.
(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Today there will be no sermon. Just let us sing together, and praise the Chocolatey Mistress with this hymn:
(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Of course true Turkish Delight is flavoured with rose water, but we have been honoured, or will be when a kind soul translates it, to see The Chocolatey Mistress on Oyunzeger Online. The post there says, in Turkish:
Ama ben henüz fanatikçe kendi dinimi yücelterek başka dinleri ezememiştim. Kendi ilahi varlığımın gerçekliğini kanıtlayamamıştım. En ilahi din benimki diye propaganda yapmamıştım. Benim dinime hakaret ediyosun sen! falan diye gaza gelememiştim Sad
Neyse siz tartışırsanız ben yine etrafta olacağım. Chocolate Cake Church’e katılmayı planlıyorum. Chocolatey Mistress’in ne kadar über bir varlık olduğunu yeni yeni kavramaya başladım. Eğer kavga ederseniz gelirim ben yine
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Attributed variously to Marie Antoinette, Maria Theresa of Spain, and Jean Jacques Rousseau, this exhortation hurts. It brings into supposed disrepute all purveyors of cakey bakey goodness. Our Church has a view on this.
While Chocolate Cake is a fine food it is a food fit for the worship of The Chocolatey Mistress. It is not a staple food, nor a food to be taken lightly, for it is written “By your cake shall they know you.” Not just “by your cake, but by your words and deeds with cake, for cake is not simply a comestible but an offering of spirit.
It is important, therefore, to understand that, in the context here, saying “Let them eat cake” is a call to the faithful to bake and worship, and is not at all the oddly misunderstood throwaway line squandered so unwisely in days of yore.
Not just “Let them eat cake,” but “Let US eat cake!”
(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5) Loading ...It came to pass on the second day, for on the second day the Chocolate Cake had matured and was at its peak of perfection, that the Chocolatey Mistress appeared as a vision in the cake. As the vision, perhaps influenced by the fine rum with which the cake had been infused, she uttered some of the many tenets of Cakey Bakey Goodness.
It is those tenets that form the basis of the Grand Baking, and those tenets which must be upheld. Of these, the greatest is: Read More »
(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...The priesthood gathered today at an emergency Baking to see and consider cake jewels - Edible cake jewels.
Writings in the ancient tablets show that “adding Bling to your Cake” (though the word ‘bling’ is a recent invention) is not unacceptable, though should be confined to special celebration cakes.
(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5) Loading ...The Grand Synod has reached no particular conclusion on the great debate between offering a cake as a “church cake” or offering the cake individually to those who follow the true thoughts passed to us by the Chocolatey Mistress. Perhaps the best answer is one for individual supplicants.
It is advised that Chocolate Cake be brought into as many lives as possible, and that cake is always for sharing:
“Let not a cake be baked that is not fit for sharing and that is not offered to friends and neighbours, for they who bake and do not share shall be struck with obesity!”
Thus it is written on the ancient Tablets.
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