If Life Sucks, Why is There No Orgasm?

July 1st, 2008

This is a question, that is nearly impossible to answer. It may be that life isn’t sucking hard enough, or not passionately enough. Or it’s sucking too hard and you don’t feel comfortable. It may also be that you are suffering from erectile disfunction. Or perhaps you simply aren’t sexually attracted by life.

Regrettably we cannot help you with any of these problems, but we can assure you that Chocolate Cake is a complete and very satisfactory surrogate. You can have a Cake whenever you want, and it may even be better than sex would ever have been.

Just tell life where it can go and indulge yourself in a Chocolatey Chocolate Cake, praising the Chocolatey Mistress and en passant setting a new world record for the most “Chocolate”s in one sentence, like I just did.