“Thou Shalt have None Other Cakes But Me!”

Oh my children, what a concept. What harsh words, what a jealous deity that must be. Graven images, Golden Calves, Temples of Baal and all the hideous trappings of a fierce faith and a belief in a vengeful and evil deity; what awfulness awaits those who worship at such an altar.

The Chocolatey Mistress is not such a creature. She is made of kindness, of softness, and yes, in 75% and above chocolate she is made of a sweet rich bitterness, too But she is not vengeful.

She does not curse you if you make a wedding cake with white royal icing. She does not strike you dead for making an Eccles Cake, nor for eating it. She is not uncaring, but she even sees madiera Cake as a style of worship, albeit a perverted style.

And yet, while she cares for your immoral soul, she is not against perversion, for without perversion of recipes no cook would have invented Sachertorte, Schwarzwälderkirschtorte or any other notable chocolatey delights. Even the humble Jaffa Cake, noted in the United Kingdom for it’s peculiar VAT status is a form of worship.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the Mills, from whence cometh my flour!”

But that is a later topic, for another day.

For today offer Cake and rejoice. Yea, even offer the humble Fondant Fancy, or one of Mr Kipling’s self proclaimed exceedingly good cakes. Even a non Chocolate Cake is a partial offering. It is a collection plate!

With Chocolate Cake in your heart you are already in paradise