What Einstein did not know

We are not attempting to mingle science and religion here. Well, at least not much. It’s more a bit of tidbit information on two statements that are famous for Einstein, but which he got slightly wrong because he couldn’t know better. So let us tell you what Einstein - and you - did not know.

God does not play dice

Albert Einstein is often quoted for the famous words “God does not play dice”. However, with all due respect Albert, She does, She does it well, and She enjoys herself tremendously doing it. The Chocolatey Mistress could be called the Gambler from Hell, if there ever was one. Of course, being a deity, She is neither from hell, nor does she need a contract with a devil to win.

Should She ever invite you to play, do hold tight to your pants, underwear, and everything else that is not permanently attached to your body. Otherwise you are likely to bet and lose all you have. On the positive side, you will awaken spiritually enlightened, and your stomach full with the best Chocolate Cake ever.

e = mc²

Of course we all have heard of Einstein’s Relativity Theory and the formula accompanying it. What we - and Einstein - did not know, is that this formula is not true once Chocolate Cake comes into play.

Chocolate Cake is a special substance, enhanced by the Chocolatey Mistress’ power. As a result all light going to, and coming from Chocolate Cake does not travel at the speed of light c. Instead it has the speed c_choc, which is a multitude of the speed of light. Consequently the energy contained in the mass of Chocolate Cake is by far higher than in mass of similar density.

Now the last thing we want to happen, is that nuclear scientists take up this divine piece of information, and start replacing all plutonium warheads in the world with Chocolate Cake warheads, hoping to get even more destructive weapons.

We really do not want you to do that, do NOT go out and replace plutonium with Chocolate Cake, we are serious, and the pendulum in my hand has nothing to do with it, nor my fierce nodding which seems to contradict my words. Really.