Chocolate Cake Raids in Germany

I am saddened to have to break these news to you, but we have received this report from one of our brethren in Germany. It is sad, it is shocking, it should not be happening in this day and age. There have been Chocolate Cake raids and riots in the streets. Read our eye witness report and decide for yourself.It was in the middle of the night, when one of our brethren in Germany called the Chocolate Cake Church headquarters. He was desperate and only barely managed to talk to us at all. This is his first hand report:

They are burning cakes oh High Priest! Can you imagine that? They are raiding houses, bringing out all the Cakes they can find and pile them up in the streets. The piles are being lit, or already burning, while in this eerie atmosphere more and more Cakes are thrown into the flames.

Now even the people are bringing out and burning Cakes. It is so horrible! My stomach turns and my heart breaks with every Cake that I have to watch painfully melt and eventually turn into coal. The stench is everywhere and my clothes are ashen.

Please High Priest, ask the Chocolatey Mistress for help! We need her now more than ever, or these madmen take over the world. I am fearing for my life!

And the blasphemy does not even end there! They are parading up and down the streets in their chocolate brown uniforms, claiming that only their Cake is the right cake, and all other Cakes would jeopardise the people’s health and thus need to be destroyed for the greater good.

Oh no, oh please Chocolatey Mistress help! They are coming…

After this we lost contact and have not been able to reach him since. We are deeply worried, but also thankful for our brother to endanger himself to let the world hear these horrible news. Have a Chocolate Cake on him, and honour his deeds.