Three of the main tenets of Cakey Bakey Goodness

It came to pass on the second day, for on the second day the Chocolate Cake had matured and was at its peak of perfection, that the Chocolatey Mistress appeared as a vision in the cake. As the vision, perhaps influenced by the fine rum with which the cake had been infused, she uttered some of the many tenets of Cakey Bakey Goodness.

It is those tenets that form the basis of the Grand Baking, and those tenets which must be upheld. Of these, the greatest is:

“Icing shall be made of melted chocolate, and shall be spread with a knife across the top of the cake, across the very surface seen by all supplicants.“

There have been many interpretations of this over the years, but the main one, a sub-tenet, on the use of White Chocolate, was revealed only recently, the topic having been seen as blasphemy for many minutes.

The next greatest, often seen as the greatest, is:

“Moistness is a virtue!“

Perhaps the briefest of our tenets, this has come to be known as The Moistness and is a basic in a Baking. Moistness is not to be achieved with artifice, but with the use of correctly measured and considered ingredients, for, while a drink is a delight with Chocolate Cake, a drink is not an essential part of the consumption.

In today’s revelation, given to us by John The Divine Baker after he received a vision from his cannabis filled cake, and known henceforth as The Revelation Of John the Divine’s Skunk Habit, we move to a later era of Baking:

“Thou shalt not attempt to bake cake with a microwave oven, for nuking a cake is not a Baking“

While almost self explanatory, it is with some pleasure that we note that John the Divine was only just rescued in time from the wreckage of his once glorious kitchen after he attempted Cakey Bakiness in his microwave oven.