Who is the Chocolatey Mistress

Many people who are starting to learn more about our faith, inevitably ask questions about the Chocolatey Mistress. They are not entirely sure what role she takes in our faith, as we call ourselves believers in Chocolate Cake, but do not carry the Chocolatey Mistress in our name.

The answer is not difficult, but probably confusing to beginners of our belief. We believe that the Chocolatey Mistress is the deity that has created the universe, the world, and everything. We also believe she is a goodwilled deity, who does not punish Her creation for pleasure. Instead She wants us to enjoy the same thing as Her: Chocolate Cake.

It is her way to appear to us mere mortals here on earth in the shape of Chocolate Cake. By consuming those apparitions we take in part of the Chocolatey Mistress and get closer to her spiritually. Every Chocolate Cake made by humans contains a little bit of the power of the Chocolatey Mistress, which is why it is a sin to refuse it. It would mean refusing Her.

She is Chocolate Cake, and Chocolate Cake is Her. One can not exist, without the other being consumed. Because the Chocolatey Mistress is also a shy and modest deity, She decided wisely to not name the church and religion after Her. Instead She wanted us to praise the thing She loves most: Chocolate Cake.