We have been lucky enough to track down this unfaked video of an apparition of the Chocolatey Mistress Herself in a Chocolate Cake. However the pictures show a degree of graphic violence that is quite shocking, and we recommend to not let children watch unattended. Read More »
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Many people who are starting to learn more about our faith, inevitably ask questions about the Chocolatey Mistress. They are not entirely sure what role she takes in our faith, as we call ourselves believers in Chocolate Cake, but do not carry the Chocolatey Mistress in our name. Read More »
(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...That’s a headline that sounds too good to be true. But we have found evidence in the digital bit clouds, that Rt Rev Graham James, Bishop of Norwich is indeed a Chocolate Cake worshipper as reported by christiantoday.com:
It was chocolate all the way for the Rt Rev Graham James, Bishop of Norwich, who said his favourite flavour was “chocolate cake, with chocolate filling and chocolate on top”.
What else can this statement be, but a true testimony of his deep rooted faith in the Chocolatey Mistress in all her glory. Read More »
(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5) Loading ...There has been some confusion about the spelling of “Chocolatey Mistress”. Some of our members believe it should be “Chocolaty” or even “Choclaty”. So, which is the correct spelling, and what are the global consequences of misspelling Her name? Read More »
(5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5) Loading ...The question about timing has been brought to our attention by beginning believers. They were concerned if the weekday when you bake or eat Chocolate Cake would matter. I will try to shed light on this apparently important topic. Read More »
(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...“Church or Cake” is one of the questions that members of other religions have to face often. Christians for example see a need to go to church every Sunday.
But what, if there is a delicious Chocolate Cake waiting for you in the kitchen. It’s early morning, it’s freshly baked, and yet your faith forces you to decide against Cake, and for Church. Read More »
(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5) Loading ...The members of the Church of Chocolate Cake were appalled by the ignorance of Nick Eriksen when he stated on his blog:
Most people commenting on this statement, are offended because it downplays rape as a serious crime. We of the Church of Chocolate Cake however, have an entirely different problem with this statement. Read More »
(5 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Recently the question has come up, about the position of Chocolate Cake Church on straight and gay people. Let me first of all say, that we do not discriminate members on the basis of shape or mood.
(5 votes, average: 4.2 out of 5) Loading ...On my pilgrimage through the digital wastelands, I stumbled upon this truly divine recipe for Chocolate Cake: Chocolate Yogurt Cake. I am confident it is worthy even of our Chocolatey Mistress, and every true believer in Chocolate Cake should try it at least once. The use of yoghurt may be considered blasphemy by some of the more conservative branches of our church, I am certain the Chocolatey Mistress is more tolerant.
(7 votes, average: 4.29 out of 5) Loading ...One of the most important questions for any religion to answer, is the one about what will happen to us after we die. We have been asked often if there is a life after Chocolate Cake. I will try to give an answer here.
Chocolate Paradise
The Chocolatey Mistress has given us hints about the afterlife, but not the complete picture. We may know about the random praline, but don’t see the whole box. What we do know, is that there will be some kind of paradise for believers in Chocolate Cake. We are promised 42 different kinds of chocolate, and 7 chocolate virgins (opinions diverge on the meaning of chocolate virginity). It is a land where hot chocolate is flowing down the mountains, and Chocolate Cakes grow in every meadow. The cities are made of chocolate, and the roads are made of pralines. (This part of our religion can even be found in today’s myths, slightly altered, as the legendary land of milk and honey.) Read More »
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